The iPhone 15: who needs innovation when you can have déjà vu?

Written by Yuki Wen

Meet the new, “innovative” iPhone 15. With a simple tap, the camera focuses between subjects to ensure a movie-like quality for every single photo, just like your old iPhone 12. And you still seem less attractive when comparing your photos to those from other smartphones. Now $100 dollars more expensive than the 14, Apple proudly presents its much-anticipated new handset: an iPhone that is nearly identical as any other one you’ve owned before. 

But wait, there's more! The iPhone 15 comes with an exclusive feature: the "Slightly More Sparkly than Before" touch of magic! Apple has made your iPhone brighter, but fear not, for the screen is still impacted by direct sunlight. Apple knows you love to squint your eyes while soaking up the sun for a good eye workout.

And the best part? It's still as scratchable as ever! Because who doesn't enjoy the thrill of discovering a new scratch on their device that costs a week's hard-earned salary? It’s the bragging rights that counts, because that appears to be the only new feature that Apple is selling. 

So picture this - you shell out $1,200 for your new iPhone - great. Now choose which handset you want from a range of five color shades that all seem to belong to the vast spectrum of white. Don’t worry though - if you're eager to elevate your bragging game, toss in an extra $100, and voila. You can customize your device in any color you fancy. And don't think your spending stops there. You're practically barred from using your iPhone until you cough up another $40 for the new charger, which obviously has been updated so that it only fits the new handset. 

Incredibly user-unfriendly with long messages and complicated setups? Check! Same photo quality as the iPhone 12, identical from the perspective of your common user? Check! Incredibly fragile and scratchable? Check! But if you’re willing to pay $500 more you get a special upgrade. Still the same photo quality, only you can zoom in a little more; isn’t that just simply amazing?

So, if you're in the market for a phone that's nearly the same as your current phone, but slightly shinier, a tad more expensive, and has features you'll never notice, the new iPhone is the perfect choice for you. You asked for a revolutionary design and Apple responded with continuity instead. So brace yourself for the iPhone 15, a phone so remarkably similar to the iPhone 12 (not to mention 13 and 14) that you question if you time traveled back to 2020 (God forbid!). It's not just your simple smartphone; it's an absolute joke, a testament to the cowardly pursuit of technological and capitalistic shamelessness. 

Process Statement:

My mother bought my grandmother a new iPhone 15 - and I was excited to give it a try based on Apple’s extensive marketing that this phone was going to be incredible. Despite the heightened anticipation fueled by social media platforms such as Instagram, I found myself underwhelmed as I discovered that nearly everything remained unchanged, at least to the average user. My realization of the similarities between the phones started when my grandmother and I were taking the same photo at a restaurant and when we compared our results, we discovered that the images looked identical. Intrigued, I explored the phone’s features white we waited for our food, only to realize that the distinctions were minimal at best when compared to my own iPhone 12, which was my grandmother's previous phone from 2020. 

While I acknowledge the presence of some variances, my review aims to show that the aspects most crucial to everyday, non-technologically-advanced users, such as camera quality, durability, costs and user-friendly setup, demonstrated little improvement. I value technological advancements, however, when renowned brands like Apple leverage their fame and popularity for capitalist gains, it becomes apparent that sometimes innovation takes a backseat to the profit-driven motives that take the front seat of a company’s interest. So overall my point in this piece is if you are looking for a phone that is worth huge costs, this one is not it. You are better off buying a phone from the year before and saving money. 

I found this competition really fun to prepare a piece for because I love being able to judge a product from the perspective of a wider audience. The biggest challenge I faced, which I believe is probably what other young people are facing, is keeping the piece at 450 words or fewer. That meant having to cut out some of the more visual phrases or metaphors that I had used in earlier drafts, which was difficult.